It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon so I thought I would return
to my posts regarding WWE PPV’s. Took some time off from these and actually
cancelled my WWE Network subscription after Wrestlemania. That’s how down I was
about the product. Thunderdome, Bayley/Sasha and the return of Roman Reigns
with Paul Heyman was enough to lure me back in. Still not in love with the
product and, I must admit, AEW is growing on me but, fuck, it’s pro wrestling
and everything is pro wrestling so I’m back at least for now.
Here’s the thing “Clash of Champions” feels like a really
shitty PPV. You have to believe that COVID is wreaking havoc on booking (AEW as
well) and a lot is being made up as they go along. I mean I love, love, love
Zelina Vega but, seriously what the fuck is she doing in the same ring with one
of the best wrestlers in the world. Same for Jey Uso and Lucha House Party and
Lashley/Cruz yet again?
Here’s the thing: there’s an inverse correlation between how
shitty I think a WWE PPV is going to be and how great it turns out to be….so
I’m starting to think, with such low expectations, there could be some real
awesomeness here. Watching SMACKDOWN last night, I started to get excited about
Reigns/Uso. If all the performers in the three-way ladder match bring it, and
they can, this could steal the show. When Bayley dispenses with Nikki Cross and
Sasha shows up to kick the crap out of the champ, that’s gonna be fun. I know,
I know we’ve seen it ad nauseum but Street Profits/Andrade/Angel are four of
the better performers right now and, given that this is the blow off, could be
epic. Point being once again the WWE can defy expectations and deliver an
excellent PPV.
There are several matches where the outcome seems so obvious
that I would like to believe that there is one big surprise finish. Finally,
there are a lot of MIA’s here, Bray, Alexa, Lee and the aforementioned Sasha so
all sorts of run-ins are possible….and fucking RETRIBUTION. I’m prepared to be
either elated or disappointed which is where the WWE wants us to be.
Here are predictions and holy shit (💩)
estimates for the card
ASUKA over ZELINA 💩1/2 (out of 5)
Look Zelina is a surprisingly good wrestler but Asuka is
elite and I can’t see them putting her in another ridiculous position to lose
the belt. Hopefully this will be quick and bring on Rhea Ripley.
ROMAN over his cuz 💩💩💩💩 (out of 5)
I may be going out on a limb with the holy shit ranking, and
it could be even better but Roman is going to put over his cousin and elevate
Jey for future considerations like a shot against Lashley. I hope I’m not
disappointed and I don’t think I will be and what does Heyman have up his
sleeve.
BAYLEY over Nikki (💩💩)
I want Bayley to hold on to the belt forever. She has become
my favorite wrestler. Ring skills, mike skills and she finally has the look. I
feel like we’ve been here with Nikki before and, unless they’re setting up
Bayley/Sasha with Banks costing Bayley the belt and Nikki/Fiend Alexa starting
a program for the title….Bayley forever.
NIA/SHAYNA over the RIOTS (💩)
The odd couple is growing on me and the eventual breakup
will be fun. This match won’t be. Make it quick.
ARTIST COLLECTIVE over LHP (💩💩)
Please Lord find them some talent to wrestle. These guys are
so good but are rarely put in a position to show the world how undervalued they
are in the WWE. I’ll assume this is COVID booking and move on. Luchadors are
gonna lucha so it won’t be a total embarrassment.
HARDY over AJ and SAMI (💩💩💩💩1/2)
This should be fun and brutal and I hope there are no
serious injuries but I would not be surprised. These are pros and they are
going to entertain us with something awesome. I think any one of them could win
this and I can make a case for it. Going with Jeff just because of his legacy
in ladder matches but nothing would surprise me.
ANDRADE and ANGEL over the PROFITS (💩💩💩)
It’s time for Montez Ford to make the move up the food
chain. His partner ain’t too shabby but Montez is the real thing and my fantasy
booking is for him and his talented and glorious partner Bianca to hold belts at the
same time and be the WWE power couple. When Becky returns, she and Seth can go
at it with them. A boy can dream. We’ve seen it a million times before but four
solid performers here.
LASHLEY over APOLLO (💩1/2)
I expect a RETRIBUTION run in here and maybe APOLLO finally
realizes if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em and the Hurt Business grows to protect
us all from this horrible RETRIBUTION storyline.
ORTON over The Champ (💩💩💩)
The only reason to make this a ambulance match is so neither
has to take a pin which is why I think Drew gets carted away with the busted
jaw and Randy rules the roost for a while until they give the belt to Keith
Lee. Is Strowman on RAW now?
Well that’s it as far as I know and unless COVID decides to
do a run in between now and the start of the festivities.
Bottom line: Come for the disappointment, leave feeling some
elation that the WWE always finds a way.
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