SHIPS PASSING IN THE NIGHT: SURVIVOR SERIES PREDICTIONS

Ever since the nonsensical draft the WWE’s two premier shows have been moving in opposite directions. SMACKDOWN was given all the good stories (the Mysterio Family, the Tribal King, Bayley/Sasha) and the emerging stars like the Street Profits and Bianca Belair. They still have KO and Daniel Bryan. RAW seems to have some solid wrestlers but most seem to be on the downside of their careers and there doesn’t seem to be much going on. The Fiend is well beyond his expiration date. I just find it hard to name RAW wrestlers. That’s not good.

So here we are at Survivor Series and at least there was not a lot of confrontation between the two brands leading up to this and it’s one of those PPV’s that generally doesn’t advance the storylines, but we’ll see. Here are my thoughts and, most important, holy shit (💩) assumptions.

TEAM RAW MEN V. TEAM SMACKDOWN MEN

The way I look at these classic survivor series matches is who is moving up the card, who’s moving down and just who is what they are. Using that criterion, it comes down to Jey Uso and Matt (yes, he has a first name) Riddle and I think the Reins/Usos story has a way to go so this will be a SMACKDOWN win in a 💩💩💩 contest.

TEAM RAW WOMEN V. TEAM SMACKDOWN WOMEN

Team Smackdown has the talent with Bayley and Bianca (superstar of the future if Vince doesn’t fuck it up) and an emerging tag team in The Riott Squad but RAW has been setting Lana up to emerge from this as the MVP of her team after going through a table for what feels like the entire pandemic. At the very least she will be the last woman standing for Team RAW and hopefully this is the end of the road for this nonsense which really does feel like a big fuck you to her husband for going AEW. This should be Bianca’s coming out party but I’m going Team RAW in a 💩💩 match.

LASHLEY (RAW) V. SAMI (SMACKDOWN)

I really, really, don’t give a shit but the Hurt Business v. Retribution is one of the few stories that seems to be happening on RAW, so I assume a total squash or not much of a wrestling match here with Bobby prevailing in a 💩1/2 exhibition

NEW DAY (RAW) V. STREET PROFITS (SMACKDOWN)

This could be match of the night and a real contrast between the past and the future of WWE. Montez Ford, like his better half, is a superstar waiting to happen, but I have a feeling this goes to the New Day out of respect for all that they have done, and still can do for this company. It really doesn’t matter who wins or loses, these are the best at what they do, and this is a 💩💩💩💩1/2 classic, at least that’s what I’m hoping.

ASUKA (RAW) V. SASHA (SMACKDOWN)

Asuka is simply the best with not much to do and I’m hoping Rhea Ripley is on the way to give her some real competition. Sasha’s good but she’s no Asuka. This one’s a real headscratcher. Asuka should win but I think they give it to Sasha to progress the story that she can finally hold on to a championship (I know it’s not on the line) and Asuka can handle the rare loss. This is a 💩💩1/2 brawl.

SCOTTISH PSYCHOPATH (RAW) V. TRIBAL CHIEF (SMACKDOWN)

This should be good and brutal but, in the end, Reigns is #1 and he will prevail. I feel bad for Drew since his successful run has never been before a live audience and I think he would be a popular champ with the fans. I’ll go 💩💩💩💩 holy shits for this one.

So, I have it 3-3 assuming clean finishes but you know it never goes that way. Look for Rhea Ripley to show us and turn Asuka/Sasha into a schmoz. May Big E does a heel turn helping the Profits defeat Kofi and X.

Whatever happens these are two brands travelling in different directions.