The 2019-20 MASKYS

Here are the MASKYS for the 2019-20 network season which will start sometime in September. I watched a total of 27 pilots on the five broadcast networks and they weren’t the worst crop I’ve seen but they weren’t the best either; they were sort of average with a few pleasant surprises.

This year, again, I will dispense with the snark and just offer you my take.

There were your fastball down the middle, by-the-book, cop/detective/legal shows one of which was so paint by numbers that it was almost impossible to get through.

There were your attempts at sci-fi that will be dead by episode four or five for all the reasons these genre shows always fail.

The comedies weren’t all that funny and the best of the liter were warmedies rather than sit-coms.

I’m going to miss JANE THE VIRGIN and CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND but I think ZOEY’S EXTRORDINARY PLAYLIST is not a worthy replacement. It will get the buzz and the social media love. It’s more CW than NBC, and it’s this year’s Emperor’s New Clothes show.

There were several shows where, after finishing the pilot, I had no idea what the show was or where it’s going. I could come up with some interesting paths (especially NOT JUST ME) but who knows what the creators have in mind.

As always, I pay homage to my all-time favorite wrestler Bret “Hitman” Hart who evaluated wrestlers by three simple criteria: Looks, Wrestling Ability and Mike (Promo) Skills. I evaluate the pilots in terms of Quality (is it well executed), Broad Appeal (hey this is network television we’re talking about) and Sustainability (is this a TV show or a good pilot).

There were two comedies that I felt were worth taking a second look MIXED-ISH on ABC and THE UNICORN on CBS

Regarding dramas, ABC’s STUMPTOWN and FOR LIFE were both pleasant surprises and I will always give props to CBS for figuring out how to ground an out there show like EVIL in a procedural format. I’m not a big fan of the CW super hero shows but I enjoyed BATWOMAN and will come back to see where it goes. I might watch a second episode of NOT JUST ME because there’s a version I would like but I have a feeling that’s not where it’s going.

COUNCIL OF DADS is this year’s attempt at THIS IS US. They pack so much shit into the hour I just don’t know how you do this every week but there is an audience for this saccharin.

A lot of people worked really hard on these pilots and I’m sure every one of them will have its supporters. I’m sure that the pilots I saw will be potchkyed with over the summer so they may be different by the time you see them.

Bottom line: judge for yourself.

Here they are ranked by letter grade. There are a few missing for all sorts of reasons.

FALL

STUMPTOWN (ABC)      B+

MIXED-ISH (ABC)     B+

EVIL (CBS)     B+

THE UNICORN (CBS)     B

BATWOMAN (CW)     B

PRODIGAL SON (FOX)     B-

NOT JUST ME (FOX)     C+

NANCY DREW (CW)     C+

SUNNYSIDE (NBC)     C

BLUFF CITY LAW (NBC)     C-

EMERGENCE (ABC)     C-

CAROL’S SECOND ACT (CBS)     C-

PERFECT HARMONY (NBC)     C-

BOB ❤️’S ABISHOLA (CBS)    D+

ALL RISE (CBS)     D+

MID-SEASON

COUNCIL OF DADS (NBC)     B

FBI: MOST WANTED (CBS)     B

FOR LIFE (ABC)     B

DEPUTY (FOX)     C+

FILTHY RICH (FOX)     C+

IT COULD HAPPEN* (ABC)    C

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST (NBC)     C

NeXt (FOX)     C-

LINCOLN (NBC)      C-

OUTMATCHED (FOX)     D+

KATY KEENE (CW)     D+

INDEBTED (NBC)     D

*aka BEAUTY AND THE BAKER

MONEY IN THE BANK PREDICTIONS AND HOLY SHIT RATINGS

Look let’s not mince words…the WWE is a mess right now. Not telling you anything that you don’t know (and probably agree with) from the web sites and the podcasts (Sam ‘the Shill” Roberts always being the exception)…it’s a mess.

I can go on and give you all the reasons and you have your own but it pretty much comes down to three words - - Vincent Kennedy McMahon. He signs this big five year deal with FOX and Comcast and since then has done everything he can to scare the living shit out of the executives at the two companies. I don’t think they all thought this through. There’s a big difference between RAW and SMACKDOWN being on the same channel (USA) for two consecutive nights with two separate “brands” vs. two separate “brands” on two separate platforms separated by three days. Oh, and AEW on TNT in the fall leading to the apparent dissatisfaction in “the back” resulting in the exodus of one (probably more) of their top stars while others are asking for their release, and Saudi Arabia and Lars Sullivan and burying NXT stars and diluting the mighty Black and Gold brand for what? War Raiders-Viking Experience-Viking Raiders seriously what the fuck, and “wildcard” appearances leading to what appears to be the vanishing of the brands resulting in one clusterfuck which will be whatever Vince is feeling on any given show. This is not good and I have just scratched the surface.

I have no idea if FOX and Comcast execs are speaking to Vince but I don’t think it will matter or help. Vince should go play with his once failed football league and let Triple H do his magic to make the WWE NXT-worthy. Other than that, I’m a bit worried.

With all this nonsense we have MONEY IN THE BANK this Sunday. I’m sure while talking about it I will continue the rant so here’s the card with predictions (I assume there will be a finish to each match knowing there won’t) and, as always, the “Holy Shit” 💩 ™ projected ratings. Who knows if this will be the final card. It’s Vince’s prerogative to change his mind.

DB & ROWAN v. THE USOS

This is slated for the pre-show and, honestly, it could be downhill from here. I guess this is for the SMACKDOWN tag titles, I honestly can’t keep track anymore. These guys, well at least three of them are the best and it’s sad that the Usos never get the shine they deserve. Gotta believe it’s too early to take the belts off the “hippies” so the bad guys retain in a 💩💩💩💩1/2 match.

I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE CRUISERWEIGHT PRE-SHOW MATCH It will be fine.

JOE v. REY

Big Samoa Joe mark. Always respect to Rey but I have to assume Joe with another squash and it’s Dominic time. I wish they would give Joe a long run with the belt but not holding my breath. This should be quick and 💩💩 worthy.

KOFI v. KO

Two of my favorites will rock the house but I think Kofi will retain. At some point they need to put a belt on KO and let him run with it for a while and I don’t know what happens to him after this match so I will just sit back and enjoy two pros who will give us a 💩💩💩💩💩 match.

MIZ v. SHANE IN A CAGE

I honestly have no idea what brand these dudes are on and I am not a fan of face MIZ and tired of the McMahons making this all about them. MIZ is one of the “safest” wrestlers there is and he did step it up in the WrestleMania falls count everywhere match but, outside of Shane killing himself at some point I feel this feud isn’t over and will culminate in the land of the killers where it all started a year ago so Shane with the win in a 💩💩1/2 match.

ROMAN V. ELIAS

I don’t really care. Roman in a 💩 match

SETH V. AJ

They are not taking the belt off of Seth and yet this is AJ’s first big match since coming to RAW (I think he’s on RAW). If there is any match that will not have a clean finish here it is, but if there is, Seth retains and it’s 💩💩💩1/2 worthy.

BECKY squared v. CHARLOTTE and then v. LACEY EVANS

This all gives me a headache. Becky is going to stay on RAW when she’s not wild-carding over at SMACKDOWN and Lacey has no right to be in this position even if she is any good. Even Vince can’t put Becky away for a second tier NXTer…or can he…I guess if Charlotte gets first crack and beats the shit out of a victorious Becky and then Lacey picks up the pieces but, if there is a GOD, Becky beats Lacey in a 💩1/2 match, reinjures her leg and Charlotte (the best in the biz alongside KO and her boyfriend if Vince ever let him loose) takes the belt back to SMACKDOWN in a 💩💩1/2 match.

MEN’S MITB

OK let’s eliminate Randy, Corbin, Ali, Finn and Ricochet (but he’s going to be 💩💩💩💩💩 awesome) the MITB winner needs to be a heel with mike skills. Sami’s great but seems to be filling in for Strowman for some back stage reason so it’s down to Drew and Andrade with his business manager Zelina Vega. I would love to see Andrade win this, go on a kick ass run and cash this sucka in at Summer Slam but I think it’s gonna be Drew because…Vince. It will be 💩💩💩💩1/2 at least because there’s a load of guys who can go in this one. One surprise would be if Lesnar inserts himself in this.

WOMEN’S MITB

There are more good wrestlers NOT in this than in it. I think it comes down to Mandy Rose or Bayley…and let’s be clear on this…heel Bayley. Bayley is not great on the mike so I’m going with Mandy in a 💩💩💩 match. The wild card might be Dana Brooke who seems to be emerging a bit but please no. A heel Bayley taunting the champs and former Horsewomen could be fun for a while.

This is not a horrible card. The WWE just needs to get it’s shit together and I believe that means handing over the reins to Mr. Levesque.