I have been around for every WRESTLEMANIA. I have been to four of them in person. Never been less excited about the overall card. I feel, with maybe one or two exceptions, I have seen everything already on the two flagship shows. Every fucking combination of every fucking pig fuck tag team match. Even Roman and Brock have been laying hands on each other for weeks.
Nothing feels fresh or exciting.
....And two nights of this nonsense. Who does the WWE think it is? New Japan? Wrestle Kingdom? Nope.
The setups for most of the matches have been ridiculous and silly. Edge turning heel for no good reason. Lashley showing up to challenge Omos......and the fucking celebrity matches. Yeah yeah I know it's sports entertainment but it's pretty bad sports entertainment in my opinion. Even the KO/Stone Cold stuff. KO is the best and a true lover of the art. I much sooner have had him team up with Austin than be his adversary. It just doesn't make any sense.
Anyway I could give a shit about much of the two nights and with the Final Four on Saturday (GO JAYHAWKS) I will probably fast forward through Saturday.
I'll stop here and just go through the card with predictions. In addition to wholy shit expectations (spoiler alert low) I will add "I can give a shit" scores both on a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 the best.
BECKY V. BIANCA
Becky's return has been underwhelming and she is not a good heel. The fans want to love her. Bianca got screwed out of her title. I think that is rectified tonight. This should be one of the better matches of the weekend.
GIVE A SHIT:💩💩💩💩
HOLY SHIT:💩💩💩💩1/2
MIZ/PAUL V. MYSTERIOS
Dominick has a long way to go before he deserves a spot like this. I just don't know what the point of all this is and one of many matches I will fast forward through. I feel like they have been doing this match for weeks. I'm guessing Miz/Paul win and the Mysterios finally have their breakup and Miz stirs the pot
GIVE A SHIT:0
HOLY SHIT:💩 (just because it's Rey)
SETH V. MYSTERY MAN
I assume it will be Cody, if it is it could be a pretty solid match. Seth can take the loss with minimal damage to whatever nonsense his character is right now. If it's not Cody and it's Shane McMahon ugh. Better if Cena or even the Undertaker show up. One other option is Gargano. That could be an amazing match....but yeah Cody and at least it brings something new to the table.
GIVE A SHIT:💩💩💩
HOLY SHIT:💩💩💩1/2. (assuming Cody or Gargano)
DREW V. HAPPY
No words. Drew wins
GIVE A SHIT:0
HOLY SHIT:💩1/2
USOS V SHINSUKE/BOOGS
I think the Usos retains because of how I think Sunday's main event plays out. Other than that who cares.
GIVE A SHIT:💩
HOLY SHIT:💩💩
THE QUEEN V. RONDA
Rousey is terrible on the mike and you really feel she doesn't want to be here. She's better off as a heel. Charlotte is the best and I think she will eat the loss from some submission hold but Ronda will be a transition champ. She bad.
GIVE A SHIT:💩💩
HOLY SHIT:💩
THE KO SHOW WITH STONE COLD
I don't know what this is but KO will make it fun so no HOLY SHIT here but a 💩💩💩GIVE A SHIT
EDGE V AJ
Hated the Edge heel turn. Made no sense to me. Regardless this is one of the few professional wrestling matches we'll see this weekend so I will sit through it. I assume Edge wins
GIVE A SHIT:💩💩
HOLY SHIT:💩💩💩💩
LOTS OF WOMEN FIGHTING FOR THE TAG BELT
Little interest but the WWE women can surprise you in how well they can do a match like this. Assume title change with Sasha and Naomi walking out with the straps.
GIVE A SHIT:💩
HOLY SHIT:💩💩1/2
McAFEE V THEORY
Pat McAfee put on two awesome matches in NXT. I mean awesome. Dude can wrestle. Much better at that than announcing. The Vince/Theory angle is interesting and I think Pat needs to win here so Vince can torture and toughen up Theory. He seems to be positioned as the next John Cena. He can eat losses right now.
GIVE A SHIT:💩💩💩
HOLY SHIT:💩💩💩1/2
SAMI V KNOXVILLE
Another fucking celebrity match. Like his pal KO, Sami will make this entertaining and Knoxville will sacrifice his body and get a win.
GIVE A SHIT:💩1/2
HOLY SHIT:💩💩💩1/2
BROS V STREETS V ALPHAS
RKBro is one of the most over acts right now and I can't see them taking the belts away and this should be a fun one
GIVE A SHIT:💩💩💩1/2
HOLY SHIT:💩💩💩💩1/2
LASHLEY V OMOS
God I hope Bobby beats him but this is Vince McMahon so sadly the giant wins and goes on to Brock and Roman
GIVE A SHIT:💩
HOLY SHIT: If Bobby wins 💩💩💩1/2 if it's OMOS 💩
ROMAN V. BROCK
The Bloodline is the best thing in wrestling since Sasha and Bayley carried the company through a lot of the pandemic. I'm not super excited for the match and I think Brock will have to acknowledge Roman as the undisputed champ. Roman is on a different level than anyone else and deserves this. This cowboy clown Brock? nah. The feud won't be over but The Bloodline and Mr. Heyman deserve to remain royalty.
GIVE A SHIT:💩💩💩💩
HOLY SHIT:💩💩💩💩1/2
That's what I think. Wish I was more excited.
