Does it really matter who wins or loses at WrestleMania? The big
event is generally the culmination or beginning of storyline for the next cycle
except, of course, for the injuries that wreak havoc with the best laid plans.
WrestleMania is also the event which attracts the occasional looky loos so WrestleMania parties often involve the fans explaining to the non-fans
why this match matters and what is the story being played out in and out of the
ring.
For the past few years, with the emergence of the WWE’s farm
system/indie brand NXT, which puts on a show the night before the major Pay-per-views,
the main roster shows have been a bit of a letdown. NXT “Takeover” shows really
deliver and, on a side note, the Masked Son will be in attendance tonight! I’m
jealous.
I think the WWE is trying real hard to make this WrestleMania
special, I mean fourteen matches plus whatever assorted nonsense that may have
planned as interstitials. I guarantee you the NXT show will be better but I
thought rather than predict winners I would rank the card in terms of the
potential for “Holy Shit” moments which may come close, or even exceed, tonight’s
sight unseen excellent NXT card.
So, if you’re the occasional fan here is a ranking which may
help you decide when to pay attention and when to hit the guacamole. For the
hard core, I’m sure there will be disagreement but overall this should be a
solid night of wrestling entertainment.
Here’s the card in order of holy-shitness (Five “holy shits” is
don’t miss)
Styles/Nakamura 💩💩💩💩💩
This
is the one not to miss. Two big stars from NEW JAPAN and veterans of “strong-style”
wrestling.
Bryan & Shane/Zayn & KO 💩💩💩💩💩
The
return of Daniel Bryan to the squared circle and these four will sacrifice
everything to steal the show. There is the added drama of how far Bryan will go
given his medical history. Definitely worth asking a fan to walk you through
why this will be epic.
Charlotte/Asuka 💩💩💩💩1/2 Charlotte Flare is the best Women’s wrestler, heck one of the
best wrestlers you will ever see and Asuka has the streak to add to the drama.
This could well main event WrestleMania.
Miz/Rollins/Balor 💩💩💩💩 1/2 Three of the best
workers in the biz and they will put on a show.
Usos/New Day/ Bludgeon Bros 💩💩💩💩
I
think most fans would have been happy with the ultimate New Day/Usos blow off
but this should be violent and a potential show stealer.
Alexander/Ali 💩💩💩💩
They’re
cruiserweights so….
Lesnar/Reigns💩💩💩1/2 I was at the Lesnar/Goldberg farewell match at an earlier
Wrestlemania. We all know Brock is leaving and the fans have not yet embraced
Reigns. Comes down to whether Lesnar gives a shit.
Women’s Battle Royal 💩💩💩
They
killed it at the Royal Rumble so no reason to think differently here and
Sasha/Bayley could bloom in this match.
Bar/Strowman & TBA 💩💩 The holy shit
moment will be learning who Braun’s partner will be, if he even needs one. Then
he will destroy things for a while. I think we may see Bray Wyatt 2.0 tonight.
Orton/Roode/Mahal/Rusev 💩💩 This will just
be what it is.
Bliss/Jax 💩💩 Miss Bliss doesn’t
wrestle all that much should be quick and painless
Andre Battle Royal 💩💩 Whatever
Cena/Taker 💩1/2 Who knows if this even happens. The big holy shit moment will be
Taker’s entrance if he arrives. Downhill after that.
Rousey & Angle/Steph & Trips 1/2💩 This has been a botched buildup and, other than Trips no one here
can really wrestle. Stephanie will give up her body for this match but it
should be quick and a letdown.
So, there they
are. Enjoy WrestleMania
