Does it really matter who wins or loses at WrestleMania? The big event is generally the culmination or beginning of storyline for the next cycle except, of course, for the injuries that wreak havoc with the best laid plans.
WrestleMania is also the event which attracts the occasional looky loos so WrestleMania parties often involve the fans explaining to the non-fans why this match matters and what is the story being played out in and out of the ring.
For the past few years, with the emergence of the WWE’s farm system/indie brand NXT, which puts on a show the night before the major Pay-per-views, the main roster shows have been a bit of a letdown. NXT “Takeover” shows really deliver and, on a side note, the Masked Son will be in attendance tonight! I’m jealous.
I think the WWE is trying real hard to make this WrestleMania special, I mean fourteen matches plus whatever assorted nonsense that may have planned as interstitials. I guarantee you the NXT show will be better but I thought rather than predict winners I would rank the card in terms of the potential for “Holy Shit” moments which may come close, or even exceed, tonight’s sight unseen excellent NXT card.
So, if you’re the occasional fan here is a ranking which may help you decide when to pay attention and when to hit the guacamole. For the hard core, I’m sure there will be disagreement but overall this should be a solid night of wrestling entertainment.
Here’s the card in order of holy-shitness (Five “holy shits” is don’t miss)
Styles/Nakamura 💩💩💩💩💩 This is the one not to miss. Two big stars from NEW JAPAN and veterans of “strong-style” wrestling.
Bryan & Shane/Zayn & KO 💩💩💩💩💩 The return of Daniel Bryan to the squared circle and these four will sacrifice everything to steal the show. There is the added drama of how far Bryan will go given his medical history. Definitely worth asking a fan to walk you through why this will be epic.
Charlotte/Asuka 💩💩💩💩1/2 Charlotte Flare is the best Women’s wrestler, heck one of the best wrestlers you will ever see and Asuka has the streak to add to the drama. This could well main event WrestleMania.
Miz/Rollins/Balor 💩💩💩💩 1/2 Three of the best workers in the biz and they will put on a show.
Usos/New Day/ Bludgeon Bros 💩💩💩💩 I think most fans would have been happy with the ultimate New Day/Usos blow off but this should be violent and a potential show stealer.
Alexander/Ali 💩💩💩💩 They’re cruiserweights so….
Lesnar/Reigns💩💩💩1/2 I was at the Lesnar/Goldberg farewell match at an earlier Wrestlemania. We all know Brock is leaving and the fans have not yet embraced Reigns. Comes down to whether Lesnar gives a shit.
Women’s Battle Royal 💩💩💩 They killed it at the Royal Rumble so no reason to think differently here and Sasha/Bayley could bloom in this match.
Bar/Strowman & TBA 💩💩 The holy shit moment will be learning who Braun’s partner will be, if he even needs one. Then he will destroy things for a while. I think we may see Bray Wyatt 2.0 tonight.
Orton/Roode/Mahal/Rusev 💩💩 This will just be what it is.
Bliss/Jax 💩💩 Miss Bliss doesn’t wrestle all that much should be quick and painless
Andre Battle Royal 💩💩 Whatever
Cena/Taker 💩1/2 Who knows if this even happens. The big holy shit moment will be Taker’s entrance if he arrives. Downhill after that.
Rousey & Angle/Steph & Trips 1/2💩 This has been a botched buildup and, other than Trips no one here can really wrestle. Stephanie will give up her body for this match but it should be quick and a letdown.
So, there they are. Enjoy WrestleMania