Over the past few months the WWE has been a mess.
The loss of Roman Reigns as he battled leukemia (fortunately in remission)
The ascendance of Becky Lynch to Steve Austin status (honestly not completely sold).
The panic over ratings leading to the return of the McMahons to prominence on both shows and the demotion of Paige on Smackdown Live (yeah, I know the movie). And why the no rematch clause which they, of course, immediately violate?
The heavily promoted NXT callup fiasco followed by the unannounced NXT callup of their top talent which left NXT in shambles. Now we discover that Tommaso Ciampa is out so wither Gargano.
The blurring of lines between the two brands with the NXT talent floating and the main players in the women’s division crossing between the two shows. Kevin Owens wasn’t he on…..oh it doesn’t matter. Oh, and the women’s tag champs are also untethered from any brand.
Vince going around removing fan favorites Becky and Kofi Kingston from their championship matches only to have Stephanie undo the Becky ban.
Both Shane and Trips headed to big Wrestlemania matches. Why? And Wrestlemania is still pretty much a blank slate less than a month away.
Titles have become nothingburgers. With respect, R Truth? The Revival? Asuka beats Becky clean and has pretty much vanished. Neither the US nor Intercontinental titles are on the Fastlane card and it took me a few minutes to even remember who has the straps.
Oh, and Dean Ambrose is leaving WWE I assume for the “greener pastures” (according to his wife Renee Young) of AEW unless this is all a work, but he still winds up in what I believe will be the main event of Fastlane?
I could go on but I won’t. I will say that I love the straps on the Usos and Daniel Bryan is probably the best thing in the WWE right now. That hemp and wood belt is genius. Somoa Joe with a strap is a move in the right direction. My fear is that everything that I’m enjoying at the moment will be destroyed by the McMahons.
Compounding all this is Fastlane which needs to be over with and I guess everything on this card sets up Wrestlemania so let’s get to it, but first will someone check that Naitch isn’t still lying in a beaten mess in that arena in Atlanta?
As always here are predictions for match order, winners (and emerging Wrestlemania stories) and of course the Holy Shit Scores (patent pending)
New Day (Xavier and Big E) v. Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev…Kofi is not on the card so expect some involvement in the Bryan/Owens match.
Winners: Nakamura/Rusev…The New Day are beyond titles and the very weak Smackdown tag division could use a team to take on the Usos possibly at Wrestlemania.
Holy Shit Score 💩💩💩 (out of 5)
Rey Mysterio v. Andrade Cien Almas…that’s right I’m using the whole name. Give this man the respect (along with Zelina Vega) he deserves.
Winner: Rey will do the honors here. ACA should be in the main event picture, he’s that good and these two guys do amazing work together. I know faces generally win the pre-show matches but in terms of furthering the stories this makes sense to me.
Holy Shit Score 💩💩💩💩 ½
Revival v. Black/Richochet v. Gable/Roode
This should be a solid match. All these dudes can wrestle and it’s exciting to see the NXT guys on the card. In fact, ALL these men spent time in the Black and Gold which tells you something.
Winners: Gable/Roode…I think they get the title back with a new more heel attitude. With NXT in flux and Richochet/Black in the Dusty Tournament (I believe they won their first match) I feel hesitant to put the belts on them and the Revival have been losing too much to win over these two teams.
Holy Shit Score 💩💩💩💩 I don’t think R&B are capable of anything less and Gable is no chopped liver.
Asuka v. Mandy Rose It is a shame what they have done to one of their best wrestlers and I don’t mean Mandy Rose. Vince has a thing for the blondes (look at Lacey Evans) but there are better women for Asuka to be fighting.
Winner: Asuka should retain and maybe this is the place for Lacey Evans to make the move for a Wrestlemania match,
Holy Shit Score 💩 ½
Shane/Miz v. The Usos This should set up the Shane/Miz breakup and their battle at Wrestlemania
Winners: The Usos…yeah it’s Cleveland and Miz is returning as a face. I would not be surprised if Miz’s dad is involved in some way perhaps turning on his own son. That would totally put over Mike as a major face in the company.
Holy Shit Score 💩💩
Bayley/Sasha v. Tamina/Jax
Winners: Boss ‘n’ Hug Connection possibly the worst tag team name in the biz. This should be quick and painless and maybe their next challengers do a run in (if there is a God it’s The Iconics) possibly some team from NXT like Baszler’s posse’.
Holy Shit Score 💩
Daniel Bryan v. KO You know Kofi Kingston will be in the WWE title picture at Wrestlemania but you can’t put Owens in this interim position. He’s too good.
Winner (if there is one): Daniel Bryan but with all sorts of shenanigans involved…a Kofi run in or maybe here is the Bray Wyatt return or all that and a bag of chips.
Holy Shit Score 💩💩💩 ½ This should be match of the night if it weren’t on the road to Wrestlemania where it serves a different purpose.
Becky v. Charlotte…This has been the most confusing story in a long long time. It feels like Vince wakes up every morning and changes his mind, or maybe it’s the whole will she/won’t she Rousey issue. Given the stipulation this only goes one way.
Winner: Becky…would not be surprised if Rousey interferes to get Becky the win. I’m just going to sit back and enjoy.
Holy Shit Score 💩💩💩💩
Shield v. Three Big Guys I’m not sure what the point of all this is. Just like when Daniel Bryan returned and it took a few matches before we forgot about the concussions it’s a way to protect Roman and, if Ambrose is really leaving (I think he is) it’s the farewell match for this great faction. I can’t believe Reigns would turn on Rollins but then again Ambrose turned the night of the Roman’s announcement so who knows; or it’s just an opportunity to see the three fists come together one more time.
Winners: The Shield
Holy Shit Ranking 💩💩💩
Glad this one will be over and done and we can see how the McMahons drive us nuts for the next month.
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