MASKED 15 JAZZ RECOMMENDATIONS FOR 2021

We started to venture out a bit after the vaccines and the boosters, and the flu shots. Saw Kurt Elling at Catalina, Branford Marsalis, Count Basie Orchestra with Liz Wright and Adam O'Farrell's Orchestra all at the Soraya in Northridge. Can't wait to get back to Maui Sugar Mill for some blues.

Fortunately this was a great year for jazz albums and here are fifteen that I would recommend There are many more where these came from.

Franco Ambrosetti Band- Lost Within You

Veronica Swift - This Bitter Earth

Charles Lloyd & The Marvels-Tone Poem

Greg Abate - Magic Dance

Sons of Kemet-Black to the Future 

Renée Rosnes - Kinds of Love

Gretchen Parlato - Flor

Becca Stevens & The Secret Trip

The Cookers - Look Out!

Kurt Elling - SuperBlue

BADBADNOTGOOD- Talk Memory

Sheila Jordan - Come Love—Lost Session 1960

Floating Points - Pharoah Sanders and the London Symphony Orchestra

Christian McBride and Inside Straight - Live From the Village Vanguard

Gerry Gibbs Thrasher Dream Trios - Songs From My Father

THE MASKED TEN + FIVE SHOWS I WOULD RECOMMEND TO YOU - 2021 EDITION

COVID has changed our viewing habits. I limit my viewing to 2-3 hours a night (closer to 2). We don't have all the services so no Disney+ or Paramount+. Hardly use Amazon Prime other than for shopping. Sunday night is reserved for the 90 DAY FIANCE cycle (sorry). Masked Wife and I have a hoot yelling at the TV (as if there isn't enough evidence of how this country has lost its mind). We've kind of given up on movies. Still watching wrestling, after all, I'm in the game now. 

So we are pretty picky about what we watch. Having said all that we still watch lots of shows. Lots of international crime procedurals. Hunt down Nazis in a pulpy series (Jaguar) and I'm there.

Of course sports but I've been trying to cut back.

Still watch the 911's because they are over the top wild but not much else on the networks. Went cold turkey on Masked Singer.

All that is to say here are the ten ( and five more) that I would recommend that you check out although I have a feeling many of you may already have. I don't go for the obscure. Not here to impress.

I put them in some sort of order but, really, the top two are in a class by themselves, for me, of course. Both of them gave me the feels.....lots of feels. So.............

Reservation Dogs - FX on Whatever

Gentified - NETFLIX

Succession - HBO

Hacks - HBO With A MAX

Billions - Showtime

Akwafina is Nora From Queens - Comedy Central

Pen15 - HULU

What We Do in the Shadows FX Classic

We Are Lady Parts - The Cock

Shtisel - NETFLIX

Oh here are five more

Curb Your Enthusiasm - HBO

Mare of Easton - HBO

Heels -STARZ

Ted Lasso - Apple With A +

Girls5eva - The Pea

THE DAY I GAVE JACK BAUER SOME BAD NEWS

 24 premiered on FOX Broadcasting 20 years ago today. I have written about 24 previously, once when it was ending its run

https://revengeofthemaskedscheduler.blogspot.com/2015/11/and-on-ninth-day-jack-rested.html

and the time John McCain visited the set

https://revengeofthemaskedscheduler.blogspot.com/2018/08/the-day-i-met-john-mccain-on-24-set.html

but I don't think I ever told you all this tale of when I thought Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) was going to kill me.

In  November 2007 the Writers Guild went on strike which meant all shows were shut down with only a few episodes in the can. Every network was scrambling to put together a schedule which would be made up of repeats, some international shows and a lot of reality.

Fortunately, for FOX, we had Mike Darnell, Gordon Ramsay and American Idol so we weathered the storm until the strike was settled in February. I kept asking Peter Chernin when the strike would potentially be over and he was always vague so we were flying blind and had to keep revising our plans.

As the shows were going back into production we needed to make some tough decisions about delivery and number of episodes needed for the season. Once everything was resolved we would sit down with the show runners and go over our plans. Of course many showrunners were not going to be happy with our decisions so the onus of telling them fell to me. I did not have very brave bosses at that moment.

The toughest decision was what to do with 24. We were starting the show in January and ending it in May with no breaks. We would have to push back the premier and run the show through the summer. We did not want to do that. We discussed breaking up the show running 12 in the 2007-8 season and 12 in the fall. For me, I felt that we had made a pact with the viewers to give them a full non-stop season so the only solution was to pull 24 from the schedule for the entire season. Fortunately my bosses agreed with no paralysis by analysis. The burden of telling the producers and the studio (20th) was left to me.

Before alerting Joel Surnow and Howard Gordon, the 24 Executive Producers, I asked Gary Newman and Dana Walden, the heads of 20th Television if I could come over and walk them through our plan for the show. They told me that Kiefer Sutherland would be joining us. By then Kiefer was an Executive Producer.

Now there are certain actors who are so connected to a character that they become the character. James Gandolfini WAS Tony Soprano. One summer the family was back east and we had dinner at an Italian restaurant in the Village and Gandolfini showed up. Although the restaurant was crowded they accommodated him and set up a table next to us. A hush came over the place when he entered with his family. Everyone was respectful. No one came over and asked him for a selfie or an autograph. Tony Soprano was in the building.

Kiefer was Jack Bauer and here I was sitting across from him, with Dana and Gary on the sides, telling him his show would not be on the air that season. He got agitated, asked a bunch of questions. I swear to you I was expecting him to jump over the coffee table separating us start choking me and screaming "THE SHOW IS COMING BACK THIS SEASON!!!!!" I was sweating, really scared for my life. Fucking Jack Bauer was going to murder me. I know it was irrational but I felt like I was in a scene from an episode of 24. I escaped with my life.

I left and went over to the HOUSE set to discuss plans for that show. It went a lot better.

Anyway, thought I would share that one and it was an honor to be part of getting 24 on the air and keeping it going for 8 seasons. It's ironic that today is daylight savings time. I always felt it would be cool to do a season that took place over 23 hours because the clocks moved forward and that would be a critical element in the story. Oh well.

JOE MILLIONAIRE.....FOOL ME TWICE......

 When I was in the biz and something was a hit, even if it wasn't on my network, I would often ask our research department to do focus groups on the competitor's show. I wanted to know why it worked and, to be honest, I discovered that quite often network executives had no clue or they went for the simplistic answer. I wanted to hear from civilians.

One of my favorite examples of just how off base creative executives can be about the reasons for success of a show was LOST. The simplistic knee jerk response, which three networks went to by the way, was that LOST was science fiction and the tv audience is looking for science fiction. The following fall all three nets put on a sci-fi show....NBC "Surface", CBS "Threshold" and ABC "Invasion". "Invasion" even had the benefit of the LOST "sci-fi" leadin. They all bombed. 

LOST was not sci-fi. LOST was deep in characters and it had the element of "constraint". Go back through TV history and you will see what I mean about constraint. While the other networks went down the wrong path FOX unintentionally put on a show that had the two elements I just mentioned. It was not sci-fi and it lasted for a few seasons......"Prison Break".

Towards the end of my time at NBC "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" exploded on ABC. This was another occasion where I asked our research department to do some focus groups to understand why it was a hit. I shared the data with the two top execs at my network because I knew that imitation is the greatest form of television and, if we had the template, maybe we would have a better chance of succeeding when we inevitably did a game show.

In December '99 I was lying in bed with the flu when the aforementioned executives called to tell me that they had ordered a revival of the game show "21". "Wasn't that the game show that has the scandal?" was my knee-jerk response. They didn't feel that mattered. Then they pitched me the show. I calmly told them that everything we were going to do was the opposite of what we determined made WWTBAM a mega-hit. "Well that will distinguish it" was their response. "21" bombed.

The TV landscape is littered with failed attempts to emulate a successful show and most of them fail because the creatives don't have a clue why a hit is a hit. I chuckle every time I read the words "reboot" "reimagining" or "revival" in the trades......bomb.

So yesterday my old home FOX announced that they are bringing back JOE MILLIONAIRE......they're not. I still remember Mike Darnell coming into my office (or more likely calling me down to his) to let me in on what he was up to. He would often pitch me the idea before he went to our boss Gail Berman and most often I would be on board and that gave Mike the confidence to go for it. The Bachelor was a hit on ABC and Mike wanted to do the "anti-Bachelor".

Those were the wild times for reality TV. There was still advertiser resistance. The networks were battling with similar ideas so a lot was done in secret. For many of these shows there was no pilot so we went forward on faith. The reality wars among the networks were getting lots of "ink" and Mike was a master at generating attention.

We started shooting the show but kept knowledge of JOE MILLIONAIRE to a small group within FOX. Jeff Zucker was over ruining NBC at the time and if he knew we were doing this he would try to expose it to the press. He did things like that. Our head of marketing was kept in the dark. I was sitting outside Gail's office when Gail told her. She came out in shock.

To our marketing team's credit they came up with an outstanding campaign. Very simple: describe the concept and tag it with "Now who would possibly do something like this?" and then the FOX logo popped up on the screen.

JM was going to come on after the new year along with "American Idol" and the move of "24" to a midseason start so we could run it non-stop. I was putting together the mid-season schedule and, along with Mike and his posse, was so certain that this would work that I put it on Monday at 9 replacing a failed David E. Kelley show. In another blog post I talk about the internal arguments over putting a reality show on a Monday night (different world now) but we did it and the rest is history. We actually won our first Sweep that February. Our sales peeps went from yelling about how much money they were going to lose to asking us to repeat JM on Thursday nights.

Mike knew that we could not do this again and wanted to shoot a second iteration before we announced the show. He was shot down. Once it was a hit of course the tune changed and the top exec at FOX claimed we were doing another JOE MILLIONAIRE. Darnell was apoplectic. We shot it in Europe because the show was so big here that we knew it would be hard to find enough "gullible" bachelorettes. It bombed.

It's back......big deal

Reality is all over the networks,, cable and streaming. It's no longer unique and you don't have the intrigue and personalities at what's left of the networks. Sure there will be some press for the announcement but that's about it. 

More importantly, this is not JOE MILLIONAIRE. JM was us being in on the con. I'm not saying we should be proud of what we did but we knew these women were being set up and that's what made it unique and different from "The Bachelor". This "who will she choose" format has been done several times. It's not unique. We did variations of this at FOX. Most of them bombed.

Will the women be told at the top that one of the bachelors is rich and one poor? Will we know? How will elimination happen? In JOE MILLIONAIRE, Joe chose (or maybe the producers, who knows) but here it seems the bachelorette will choose.....I think. I guess what I'm saying is that this is JOE MILLIONAIRE in name only.......and that host.......ugh.

Most importantly FOX had a reputation back then thanks to the antics of Mike Darnell. Reality is pervasive now. If you're looking for trainwrecks just turn on TLC.

Look I wish FOX the best with this reboot, revival, reimagining or whatever but the best TV is where you break the mold and move on to something new and unique......unless there is a colon in the show's title of course.

Why Many of You Missed the Last Minute of the Packer/Bengal Game

 If you were watching the Packers/Bengals on FOX and you are in the New York market, and some adjacent markets as well, you missed the final minute of one of the more entertaining games of the season. With less than a minute left in the game, which was in overtime, the Packers field goal kicker, who had already missed three field goals, was about to try to kick the game winning field goal. Now this dude is generally automatic but not today. Suddenly, in several markets (possibly Dallas as well) the Giants/Cowboys game started. Those markets never carried the kick.

My Twitter feed exploded. I tried to explain why this happened. In case you're interested:

Here's how the Sunday TV deals work with CBS and FOX. Each week one of those networks can bring two games into the markets. The early game is made up of several "regional games" while the late game is the "Doubleheader Game". The doubleheader game is generally carried throughout the country although there could be a second game and that game goes to the markets of the teams playing in it. So today virtually everyone got the Giants/Cowboys but Phoenix and San Francisco got the Cardinals/49'ers instead which was also carried by FOX. 

Following me so far?

This week the FOX owned stations in New York and Los Angeles carried the same two games. The "regional game" was the Packers/Bengals and the "doubleheader game" was the Giants/Cowboys. That rarely happens.

So the Packer game went into overtime and at 4:25 FOX switched over to the Giants game on WNYW in New York BUT STAYED WITH THE PACKERS GAME ON KTTV IN LOS ANGELES. The deal with the NFL is that you have to switch to the home team in the home team market. You can't join the game in progress.

Most early games are over by 4:25 so this rarely happens but, sadly, it happened with this game. It resulted in a lot of pissed off football fans. Something tells me there will be some conversations tomorrow between FOX, CBS and the NFL to address this. My guess: If you're beyond the two minute warning and the game is within eight points you stay with the regional game. Simple right? Watch them fuck this up.

By the way the kicker for the Packers who missed the three field goals (and an extra point as well) is a team captain and he lost the overtime coin toss as well. Happy he finally won the game for Green Bay. Also it's 34-13 Cowboys.Lucky Giants fans were able to watch this slaughter from the very beginning.

HOW FAMILY GUY ALMOST DIDN'T RETURN TO FOX:WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

 This morning I was reading an article in the Hollywood Reporter about NBC's decision to bring back LAW AND ORDER on the broadcast network rather than putting the originals on their PEACOCK streaming service. Of course, the following day L&O will stream on Peacock but this decision reminded me of a moment back around 2005 when FAMILY GUY was going to return to television on CARTOON NETWORK and how I intervened to bring it back to FOX prior to its run on CC.

When I arrived at FOX in June 2000 FAMILY GUY was floundering around the schedule and was about to be cancelled for, I think, the second time. The reruns moved over to ADULT SWIM on CARTOON NETWORK in 2003. FAMILY GUY became a cult hit. DVD sales of the first two seasons were huge and it was clear that there was still life left in this show.

My son, who was around 11, was a huge fan of the show and lived in a FAMILY GUY t-shirt. Wherever we went people would stop, point at his shirt and tell us how much they loved the show. I encouraged my son to write a letter to my boss Gail Berman asking her to bring the show back. I wish I saved it. It was hilarious. I was talking to Rupert Murdoch one day and the topic came around to FAMILY GUY. I mentioned the DVD sales and Rupert dismissed them not realizing how huge they were. To his credit he called me a few weeks after our conversation to tell me he was wrong about dismissing the numbers.

Given the success of FAMILY GUY it was inevitable that eventually there would be discussions by the studio (20th) about reviving the show. After several years off the air a deal was made to revive FAMILY GUY. Sound familiar? The deal was not with FBC but with CARTOON NETWORK.

My immediate reaction to this announcement was "WHY THE FUCK IS FAMILY GUY GOING TO FUCKING CARTOON NETWORK RATHER THAN FOX" Now one can make the case that the show had found a home on CN and that FOX had mishandled the show and Seth MacFarlane would be concerned that it would again suffer at the hands of FOX execs, but this is our studio and not being given the opportunity to be part of the revival made no sense to me. I get that way.

I went to see Ira Kurgan who was our head of business affairs and suggested that FAMILY GUY episodes premiere on FBC before going over to CN. We would take our second run following CN running the episodes a given number of times. We spoke to the higher ups and that's how FAMILY GUY wound up on FOX prior to its runs on CARTOON NETWORK.

Here was a fun tidbit. You know how shows run on the broadcast networks and then air on their streamers the following day? Well in 2005, 16 years ago, I had a conversation with my counterpart over at CARTOON NETWORK about how sharing the show would work. He asked me how long after the FOX run they would need to wait before they could air the episode. I immediately said "You can air it the next day for all I care". He was speechless. He thought I was kidding him. It really was not going to matter in terms of our rating.

When I read that NBC would take the initial run of LAW AND ORDER before it drops on PEACOCK the next day my only reaction was yup, that's the way you do it. things haven't changed all that much.

One footnote: I think as a gesture of good faith Seth asked my boss Gail Berman if she would reconsider airing the final FAMILY GUY episode which never aired on FOX, "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein", prior to the show returning in MAY 2005. Gail and I watched the episode and decided to air it which we did as part of a one hour FAMILY GUY holiday block of episodes in December.

The show is still on FOX and we will never know its fate had we not intervened to bring it back to network television. I even pitched an episode to Seth which he embraced called "All in the Nielsen Family" where the GRIFFINS became a people meter family. I actually get a shout out in the episode.

September 11: What I Remember

That day will always be a blur to me because, in addition to absorbing what had happened to my hometown and to the thousands who lost their lives, I had a responsibility to help manage a broadcast network which had to deal with this tragedy as it was evolving.

Here is what I remember

The day started in typical fashion. While getting ready for work at FOX I would listen to the local newsradio station as much to get the traffic news (this is LA) as the news of the day. Suddenly reports started coming out of my radio of a plane flying into the World Trade Center. Things started escalating and I realized something big, really big was happening. Then the Pentagon. Then Pennsylvania. As numb as I was I realized I needed to head into the office. 

I woke up the Masked Wife and told her what was going on and to decide whether the kids should go to school (pretty sure they did, as I said, blur)

I headed to work and took Pacific Coast Highway because it was important for me to see the ocean rather than the mess of the 405. As I started my drive down PCH Sandy Grushow (who ran the network) called. It was one of the most bizarre calls of my life.

Sandy just started telling me what needed to be done and I kept reassuring him that I was heading down to the office and will handle everything including reaching out to FOX News. At some point in the conversation Sandy said something which made me realize he was not in LA. I asked him where he was and he said New York. I was sort of speechless for a moment. "Sandy how are you?" He told me he was fine and just started barking more orders. To this day I think he was in shock.

Turned out both Sandy and Peter Chernin (head of NewsCorp) were in New York for some meeting and had to road trip across country together to get back to LA. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that.

When I arrived people started congregating in my office. We all embraced shared our feelings and got to work. I immediately called Bill Shine who was my contact at FOX News. Now I have to say this was 20 years ago and FOX News was right of center but yet to go over the edge into insanity and fascism.Having worked at two networks I found FOX News to be far more cooperative than NBC News. I knew FNC would take our (the affiliates) air and we discussed logistics so we could inform the affiliates. We had no idea how long they would hold the air so we arranged hourly calls to make sure we had enough time to take back the airways.

I had two outstanding people working with me in scheduling, MJ LaVaccare and Anne Schwarz, and we immediately started culling the schedule for anything that may be offensive. Fortunately Family Guy had not returned to FOX at that time. That would have been a headache. The one thing I clearly remember was Independence Day (the White House is destroyed by the aliens) was to air that Sunday night and we replaced it with Mrs. Doubtfire. We addressed anything that seemed offensive and alerted the current executives on the show to replace the episodes and that none of this was a negotiation.

We worked with our comms people to make sure we had the answers to the inevitable questions and our marketing people reviewed all promotion scheduled to air.

We were in the middle of baseball playoffs and football so we kept in touch with our Sports group to make sure we knew whether we needed to replace Baseball Playoffs with entertainment programming.

By the afternoon we had everything under control or as under control as things could be and we made sure we had processes in place to communicate with each other.

I left the office a bit earlier than usual so that my wife and I could discuss what had happened with the kids. The one thing I remember from that was telling them that they needed to continue to live their lives and not allow what happened to change how they live and think. That's the real goal of a terrorist attack. It was a tough conversation but essential.

I'm sure other things happened that day but it was a blur. What I will say is that scheduling and keeping a network running takes a lot of effort and you need to have the confidence and trust of your co-workers. I was fortunate to have that at FOX and we survived that day and other crises that were heading our way. 

THE HISTORY OF THE SITCOM......IF YOU SAY SO

Right before the COVID sent us all into hibernation I was contacted by Bill Carter, who is now over at CNN after a long and illustrious run as TV writer for the New York Times. Bill and I have known each other for over 30 years. I was featured in his book DESPERATE NETWORKS  and have been quoted in countless articles of his over the years. Bill wrote two excellent books about the late night wars and he was finishing up a multi-part CNN documentary on that day part.

Bill was starting his next project which was going to cover the history of the sitcom and he asked if I would come to downtown LA and be interviewed for the project. I spent 25 years in network scheduling including a run at NBC where I was head of scheduling during the Must-See-TV era. He was looking for a network suit. I obliged and sat down for a four or five hour interview.

Bill's documentary on late night TV dropped in May. It was quite interesting and informative. I lived through the Letterman/Leno part of the story and knew the actors who botched the Conan/Leno debacle. I was expecting Jeff Zucker to get a bit of a pass (he did) given that the documentary was on his CNN and I don't know if Jeff Gaspin refused to be interviewed. Those were the two dudes who bungled that transition. Overall it was a solid overview and I was looking forward to Bill's opus on the sitcom.

The Story of Late Night must have been a success because the Sitcom doc appeared earlier than I was led to believe given my conversations with Bill. When I heard it was coming I was excited. Given the amount of time I was interviewed I was looking forward to see what they would use. I watched the whole thing. Over the eight hours I appeared for maybe six seconds.....to describe a scene from the legendary Chuckles the Clown episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.....six seconds......I may be overstating the time.

I'm telling you all this because what follows may be perceived as sour grapes and if you feel that way so be it. They were never going to use my interview because somewhere in the process of making this documentary someone decided that this was not going to be about "The History of the Sitcom" but rather a lecture series on "The Social Evolution of the Half Hour".

This show had an agenda and the agenda was not to celebrate a form of comedy but rather to critique the sitcom for perpetuating myths and stereotypes about marginalized people i.e. people who were not heterosexual powerful white men. 

Now those of you who know me and follow me on Twitter know that my political and social beliefs are pretty far to the left. My point isn't that a lot of what was being said here isn't correctly reflecting the culture at various points in time, but rather it was done in a rather heavy handed and, honestly, incompetent way.

Putting on my PhD cap for a second, there is a term in labelling theory called "retrospective interpretation" where the past is filtered through a point of view in the here and now to validate that point of view. The show runner (not Bill) had an agenda and, rather than giving us eight episodes on the history of the sitcom we were offered eight hours of how corporate media perpetuated racist, misogynist, homophobic, xenophobic and transphobic myths and IT IS ONLY NOW THAT THIS SAME CORPORATE MEDIA IS GETTING IT RIGHT. A lot of this story was being told by people too young to have been around for most of the history of the sitcom which was pretty fucking hilarious. They didn't live what they are critiquing. 

Let me be very clear. Even for what it was attempting to communicate it was awful. Each hour was supposed to be a different way of letting us know how sitcoms perpetuated capitalist myths of the family, outsiders, various sexual orientations etc. but they were repetitive. they used the same comedies to make different points, They used dramas and said they were comedies. They focused on several niche shows that were not viewed by large numbers of people but were darlings among the TV intelligencia. I don't think they ever even described what a sitcom was other than it was generally a half hour. Certain observers were used over and over and over and over again.

All I'm saying here is that this was not the history of the sitcom. Without breaking a sweat I could have laid out eight episodes which would have told the story in a much more entertaining and informative way and.....oh yeah even addressed the issues that this series did in such a ham handed way. 

Leave it to the immortal Mel Brooks to blow this whole thing up. When "Get Smart" was finally discussed in last night's final episode, and was again being put in some historical context, Brooks looked into the camera and said "We were spoofing the James Bond movies" That's all he was doing. That was all he ever did.....look at his movies. It was no more simple than that. 

The irony for me is that in, 40 years when the next history of the sitcom is told, I guarantee you that most of the "sitcoms" celebrated as socially and culturally woke will be critiqued by a new generation of observers

Anyway, if Bill does the History of Reality TV I will be happy to sit down for an interview. I hope he does because I have a lot to share.....at least I thought I did.

It's SUMMERSLAM SUMMERSLAM SUM SUM SUMMERSLAM SUMMERSLAM SUMMERSLAM SUM SUM SUMMERSLAM SUMMERSLAM SUMMERSLAM SUM SUM SUMMERSLAM SUMMER SL

 I didn't watch RAW on Monday night. I can't remember the last time I didn't watch a go home show on either of the brands. I knew what would happen on the show because every week of RAW, every week,, is just a repeat of the week before. Every fucking week. 

Smackdown at least has Roman, the Usos and the great Paul Heyman to entertain us and, of course Bianca Belair but even there things feel a bit stale and then you get Baron Corbin infecting the show.

In the good old days, like a year ago, at least you had an NXT Takeover to show how great wrestling can can but Vince may have figured out that running it the night before the big PPV was a mistake on several levels. Now it's an afterthought.

On top of all this the two men's championships feature dudes who will not be around for long and, in the case of one of them, can last about five minutes at best. Three minutes of posing and two minutes of wrestling. They would be transitional champions. I'm tired of this approach to booking.

Finally, watching all these people in Vegas just tells us that the pandemic is far from over and that this is a super spreader event. Sad.

I'll watch RAW on Monday to see what the new stories are and then probably skip the repeats. Smackdown, we'll wait to see what happens Saturday.

OK here are predictions and, of course, holy shit (💩trademark pending) assumptions.

As alway I assume a clean finish to every match but this is the WWE 

AJ/Big Guy v. RK-Bro

AJ has done what was asked of him and it's time to get get back to being a great singles wrestler. He probably has one or two good runs left. I don't know what you do with Omos maybe Commander Azeez or Drew but time to move on and Randy/Riddle can take on some new opponents and maybe have some fun. The titles change hands in a 💩1/2 match.

ALEXA V. EVA W/DOUDROP

I could give less of a shit about this excuse for a match. I assume Ms. Bliss turns the Douster into her acolyte and for the first time ever I am giving a match  -💩💩That's right a minus two holy shit.

DREW V. JINDER

I feel bad for Drew who stoically carried the company during the fan free pandemic and now finds himself buried on the undercard. I'm hoping they build him back up so I give him the win in a 💩match.

SHEAMUS V. PUNISHMENT MARTINEZ

Priest is everything Vince is looking for in a champ and Shaemus is Shaemus with or without a title so I'm assuming a 💩💩 title change.

OLD MAN EDGE V. SETH

The first of the three alta kaker matches on the car. I have to believe that Seth is being prepped for a title run (regardless of who wins the belt) and a win over Edge would go a long way to catapulting him there. This one could be pretty solid so Seth in a 💩💩💩1/2 (out of 5) match and Edge goes away for a while until his next pop.

BIANCA/SASHA 2

They are not....not taking the belt off of Bianca. She is money, she is strong and far less injury prone than Ms. Banks. She is the future. They tore down the house once and they will do it again with the difference being Bianca has to fight off Sasha's quickly put together posse'. Bianca retains in a 💩💩💩💩1/2 match.

USOS V. REY AND DOM

OK who wins this will give you some insight into the Roman/Cena match since the stories are intertwined. Not a fan of the Mysterios. They are sort of the inverse of AJ/Omos so I'm rooting for the Usos to retain. It will be a solid 💩💩💩 match. Maybe Dominik turns on his dad. That would be fun....or Rey turns on Dominick even funner.

NIKKI CROSS V. THE QUEEN V. RHEA

This is a terrible storyline. Nikki Cross is actually a decent wrestler. She and Asuka put on a show in NXT but they have reduced her to a joke, first with Alexa and now this bullshit. Who knows what's going on with Charlotte as she keeps transforming herself and her dad and boyfriend are over at the rival promotion. I think Vince has given up on Rhea. She's a bit one note and it's never clear if she is a face or a heel. I think Nikki retains and I'm giving this 💩💩holy shits.

BOBBY V. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDBERG GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDBERG

Two things: One of the two titles will change hands. Second, Lesnar will show up. Sadly, as I said before whichever belt changes we will have a transitional champion. I'm going to say Lashley retains. They keep building him up as a beast and he's got the mouthpiece in MVP. If I were the booker I would keep the belt on Bobby and have Lesnar appear but not with Heyman but SABLE!!!!!!!! as his "advocate" So Bobby retains in a quick 💩match.

HEAD OF THE TABLE V. CENA

This will be brutal and in the end Cena will take the belt off of Roman and lose it to him in the rematch at the next PPV or Survivor Series in November. I fucking hate this but I think this could set up all sorts of situations. The Usos could cost Roman the belt. If Lesnar doesn't face Lashley does he show up here and Heyman switches allegiances. Is this a start up for a Roman/Rollins program with the winner facing Cena in November. I'm assuming this closes the show. If it's Lashley/Goldberg (doubtful) there are other possibilities. So Roman drops the belt (you don't say one---two---three over and over again for nothing) and this will be the only 💩💩💩💩💩 of the night.

That's where I come out. Hopefully they fix their booking issues

MONEY IN THE BANK - - VIRUS IN THE ARENA

The WWE confronts its fans for the first time in a year and a half. Will be interesting to see who pops and who fizzles assuming they don't pipe in the noise. They are really building up this card like it is one of the big four and it looks like we will be back to a four hour show rather than the tight PPV's we have been experiencing of late.

I'm sorry about Bayley's injury because I feel that the fan reaction to her and Bianca is what I was most looking forward to....oh and of course how the universe responds to The Head of the Table. That has been the best story that the WWE has done in quite some time. I have always been a fan of Roman Reigns and have been waiting for the heel turn. Pairing him with Heyman was genius and the brothers are the gravy. This has miles to go. I just wish Roman was putting the current roster over rather than this parade of alta kakers. After Edge we have to suffer through Cena, maybe Brock and then Dwayne arrives, maybe, but I do have an excellent way to book that match which would involve Roman's face turn. 

Anyway here's my take on all this including the return of the Holy Shit (tm) (💩) predictions

MYSTERIOS V. USOS

In a perfect world they put the straps on the brothers and build on the current best story in the WWE. Love Rey (who doesn't) but not a big fan of Dominick who would be an adequate jobber if he had a different last name. The Usos give you much better options moving forward and it's time for them not to be the fuckups. Should be decent but not great and I'm going with the USOs walking out with the belts. 💩💩💩1/2 (out of 5)

AJ/OMOS V. VIKES

Enough of this nonsense already. AJ has done his part and let's put the belts on a team that can give us some interesting matches. The Raiders have been transformed into clowns by Vince and it's time to give them a legit run.  Like the above I expect new tag team champs on the RAW brand. VIKING RAIDERS win in a 💩1/2 match.

RIPLEY V. CHARLOTTE

I had high hopes for Rhea Ripley but she is one in a long line of performers who fail at the hands of McMahon booking. She has mastered the smirk and swagger but I still don't know if she's a face or a heel and I have no idea what Charlotte has transformed herself into, both physically and character-wise. In a perfect world this is Rhea's chance to show the WWE universe what she is capable of. Charlotte doesn't need the belt, she needs to do what's best for Rhea and she will. Rhea retains in a 💩💩💩 match.

LASHLEY V. KOFI

OK hear me out. What's interesting about MITB is where matches are situated on the card. The MITB matches don't necessarily have to close the show if there is going to be a cash out night of and that is a real possibility here. I'm going to assume LASHLEY retains but I will paint a picture where he doesn't when we get to the men's MITB match. This should be 💩💩💩1/2 Holy Shits minimum. If this match closes the show expect something big.

HOTT V. OLD MAN

Roman has other geezers to go through so this should be OK and painless but predictable. The Usos will probably interfere in some way but please don't put the strap on Edge. You can't start the super spreader era without giving Roman a run and I know how to book him at Wrestlemania. I expect ROMAN to retain and I'm thinking 💩💩

WOMEN'S MITB

Natty and Tamina nope

Alexa nah been there done that

Naomi no way

Asuka won last year, still the best on the RAW roster but not two years in a row

So that leaves Zelina (who lost to Liv), Liv and the joke that Nikki Cross has become

The MITB winner has to have attitude (that's why they stripped Otis of it so quickly in another bullshit storyline) which eliminates Nikki although they have been building up this superhero nonsense so maybe but I don't think so.

Zelina and Liv have what you need in extra-ring ability and I think this is the elevation of LIV MORGAN

I'll assume 💩💩💩Holy Shits

MEN'S MITB

I assume Riddle, Morrison, Rick O'Shay and Shinsuke are the extras although I do believe all of them are going to have an opportunity to shine.

Like Roman, Bayley and Bianca, Drew carried the company during the COVID era and, although I would like to see him win, I think it's time to move on. 

So that leaves Seth, KO and E.

Seth doesn't need the briefcase to get a title shot and he had his moment on the biggest stage of all to cash in so nah

Down to KO and Big E. Let me say that Kevin Owens is probably my favorite wrestler at the moment and, if anyone can elevate this briefcase and make it fun and exciting he's the guy, but remember I said something about the match order? If the Men's MITB goes on before Lashley/Kofi then BIG E wins this and, you know what, it almost doesn't matter who wins the championship match. If Bobby destroys Kofi and Woods to boot, E comes in and avenges his New Day brothers and beats the crap out of Bobby. If Kofi wins, E comes down to celebrate with the guys and turns on an exhausted Kofi and grabs the title in a shocker. Can I book this shit or what, and wait until I tell you what the main event at Wrestlemania is.

Anyway, unlike the women, there is not a weak link among this crew and this is going to be the💩💩💩💩💩match of the night.

I think I'm wrong with most of these prediction but it's good to see the fans back and let the super spreading commence.

THE BIG SHRUG THAT IS WRESTLEMANIA

 WRESTLEMANIA has become just another episode of RAW or SMACKDOWN. It's nothing special. There's little buildup of anticipation. There's little suspense or real uncertainty and we come out of this right into the Draft or Superstar Shakeup or whatever nonsense The WWE will do to make us feel excited about what has become, for me, a pretty stale product.

Another problem is NXT. No NXT is not the problem but, rather, TAKEOVERS lead into the big PPV's and, as a result, we see the stark contrast between an excellent promotion and the bland parent. Night one of TAKEOVER was outstanding from start to finish. Night two not as much, other than Gargano/Reed, but still it will be more entertaining than what we are about to witness over the weekend.

Finally, and I don't think I'm wrong about this. where are the emerging stars among the men? It's why the only matches that I will watch without distraction are the two Women's championships. In Bianca Belair and Rhea Ripley you see the future and their veteran opponents are at the top of their game. That's not the case with the men. Actually the most exciting thing about this PPV is to see if PEACOCK screws things up.

Just to be different I'm going to combine the two nights (oh yeah that also sucks) and rank the card in terms of how much I don't give a shit about it with 5 being I really really really don't give a shit and I'll give you my best guess as to what may happen. 

Here we go

WOMENS TAG TEAM TURMOIL 💩💩💩💩💩

Right now all the peripheral belts feel, well, peripheral and sort of meaningless. If you put a gun to my head I couldn't tell you who holds them. They used to mean something. The SMACKDOWN mens tag team belt isn't even on the card I think. Anyone but Lana and Naomi please....probably Natty and Tamina.

NIA/SHAYNA V. TAG TEAM TURMOIL WINNERS 💩💩💩💩💩

I think they drop the belts. If it's Naomi/Lana I fucking give up

BAD BUNNY/PRIEST V. THESE TWO ASSHOLES 💩💩💩💩💩

I think Damian Priest is going to be a big star so this is paying his dues. I am so sick of the Miz and I only tolerate Morrison because his wife is on the horizon and maybe there's something interesting there. Bunny will pin somebody.

NEW DAY V. AJ/OMOS 💩💩💩💩💩

Monsters like this are problematic and AJ Styles is too good to be handcuffed by this. The tag team situation is a mess and giving the straps to this unlikely duo is not going to help things. The NEW DAY don't need the belts so sadly I think we see a title change.

BRAUN V. SHAYNE 💩💩💩💩💩

Bullshit schoolyard leadup and Shayne will do some dangerous shit. These are two of the great sweaters on the roster so this will be a slippery pig match. I assume Braun wins unless they want to continue the stupid angle but why.

ORTON V. FIEND 💩💩💩💩1/2

This won't be a wrestling match but something boring and bizarre and there will be fire. I don't know if there will even be a winner but if there is it's Fiend/Alexa and then what?

RIDDLE V. SHEAMUS 💩💩💩💩1/2

Perfect example of the minimal buildup. Wasn't Sheamus sort of in the Lashley/Drew storyline and Riddle's stoner persona isn't doing it for me. I assume they will stick with Riddle.

BIG E V. CREWS 💩💩💩💩1/2

Don't get me started. Crews takes the strap.

DREW V. LASHLEY 💩💩💩1/2

Breaking up The Hurt Business? Give me a fucking break. Is this going to be a factor in this match? Drew has been carrying the promotion for a year and doing it without the support of the fans. I would love for him to get the belt back and I think it will happen with some Benjamin/Alexander shenannigans. 

SAMI V. KO 💩💩💩1/3

If they cut the crap and wrestle this could be a pleasant surprise and KO will win regardless. He deserves better than this.

ROMAN V. EDGE V. BRYAN 💩💩💩

The Roman/Heyman/Head of the table saga is the one thing that has kept me invested in WWE. I want it to continue. Giving the belt to Edge is a big mistake. I can live with Bryan but I hope Roman holds on to the strap and let Bryan and Edge do a program together. I think that's what's going to happen. Roman Reigns is the best thing going among the men. I think Brock pays a visit here. If Lashley retains it may be there.

SETH V. CESARO 💩💩1/2

Finally two warriors who are going to give us a wrestling match and can deliver the goods. Nothing is on the line but this could steal the show. I think Seth puts Cesaro over for a shot at the UNIVERSAL title.

THERE ARE TWO MATCHES WHERE I GIVE A SHIT

SASHA V. BIANCA

This will be the coronation of Bianca Belair. You never know which Sasha Banks shows up but if she's willing to do the honors and put Bianca over this should be a fantastic match.

ASUKA V. RHEA RIPLEY

This is the match I am most looking forward to. In a perfect world Asuka retains the belt in an epic battle. I have to believe Ripley will prevail. She lost to Charlotte in her first WWE PPV and I don't think they will let her lose two in a row. She's too dominant. This should be match of the weekend.

That's it and where the fuck is BAYLEY???????????

Jamie Tarses

 Back in the fall I received a call from a friend who told me that Jamie Tarses was hospitalized in critical condition. It was a shock. Jamie was one of the key executives of the Must See TV era at NBC and responsible for some of the most iconic comedies of the 90's such as FRIENDS, MAD ABOUT YOU and FRASIER. She passed today.

Jamie was the leader of a group of programming executives that was amazingly deep and remain in the vanguard of industry leaders on all platforms. In wrestling terms she had a rocket strapped to her back and jumped to ABC where she was the first woman and probably one of the youngest executives to head programming at a broadcast network. She broke down barriers but that move was at a cost.

Fortunately, after her run at ABC Jamie transitioned to producing comedies and had several successes.

Although we worked together I was part of the male suits who sort of ran the network from a bit more of a business rather than creative bent. Jamie relied on me to sometimes help her with Don Ohlmeyer. I remember when she and Karey Burke came into my office and played me the Friends theme song. Back then we were trying to cut out the theme songs but the producers wanted it and Jamie and Karey asked if I would go up to Don with them and help get it OK'd. We did.

As iconic as the era was what went on behind the scenes at NBC was pretty wild and dysfunctional and most of it has remained in the vault among all of us. I thought I would share this one story since I think it shows how difficult it was back then for women to succeed in a what was a predominantly male business.

Here it is:

We did not have a lot of senior women executives at NBC. Jamie moved up the food chain and there was another exec who also held a powerful position at the Peacock. Every afternoon we had what was known as the "2:30 Meeting" in Don Ohlmeyer's office and for quite some time it was all men. The daily meeting was to share information (in GE terms QMI) about the business and what was going on inside our building. It was an extremely productive meeting and often featured some of the dysfunction among us all. 

Don wanted to add Jamie and another female exec to the group. Problem was they hated each other. Really hated each other.

Don calls me up to his office one day. He would do that often. I would sit there quietly while he puffed away at a Marlboro or two until he was finally ready to talk. He eventually turned to me as said "What are we going to do about Jamie and _______?" I don't know why it was my or anyone's "problem" for that matter but I looked at Don and said "Don, if they had dicks would we be having this conversation?"

That ended it. He heard me and we all went along being dysfunctional and creating a decade of some of the best great (and not so great) TV.

My love to Jamie's family and friends. she was a fearless, strong and vulnerable and gone too soon.

ROYAL RUMBLE 2021:BALL OF CONFUSION

I'm sort of confused as to what directions this promotion is going. Who will be getting a push? What is the tone moving forward? Will the two brands continue to go in opposite directions with RAW off the rails and SMACKDOWN delivering....well at least until this go home show which was sort of a mess.

All that said I have not given a lot of thought to this Rumble for several reasons. More than any other PPV the Rumble needs the crowd. They are a vital part of the narrative. The surprises. the order. This is the event where the crowd should be in a frenzy by the end.

Sure WWE will manufacture the noise but this is the one that needs the big arena .

I am also not a fan of the veterans returning for these events and my fear is that both Edge and Goldberg walk out victorious and what then has been the point of the last year. Rollins returning for the Rumble could be interesting but what is he? The new dad or the messiah?

Other than Reigns who is kicking major butt with his cousin and advocate I'm not really into the strap wearers....well maybe Asuka a little but they always fuck her up and, other than KO pulling the upset,, don't really care if they all keep the belts.

Anyway here are the predictions. Re the Rumbles I will give who will/who should and surprise winner guesses and this year they are really gusses. As a bonus I will project the final four.I just don't feel direction in this promotion.

Play along...oh and as always holy shit (💩) predictions.

WOMEN'S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

NIA/ SHAYNA/ V. THE QUEEN/ EMPRESS OF MAÑANA (C)

Time to split up the heels. Other than that don't really care. Champs retain in a 💩quickie.

DREW (C) V. GOLDBERG

You know this will be quick and sadly, other than a run in DQ maybe by Sheamus, Goldberg walks out with the strap 💩1/2 is all I can give this one.

SASHA (C) V. THE PRINCESS OF STATEN ISLAND

Let's get this feud over with so Sasha can start a program with an NXT call-up please. Another 💩match

THE HEAD OF THE TABLE (C) V. THE GREAT KO

This will be wild and probably the match of the night. Love both of these guys and it will be brutal. In a perfect world Roman drops the belt but we don't live in that world. Regardless these two guys and this feud could go on forever. 💩💩💩💩1/2

WOMEN'S RUMBLE

WILL WIN: LACEY EVANS

SHOULD WIN: BIANCA BELAIRE

SURPRISE WINNER: RHEA RIPLEY

FINAL FOUR:

LACEY

CHARLOTTE

BIANCA

BAYLEY

💩💩💩

MEN'S RUMBLE

WILL WIN: BRAY

SHOULD WIN: CESARO

SURPRISE WINNER: LARS SULLIVAN

FINAL FOUR:

FIEND

CESARO

BRAUN

SHINSUKE

💩💩💩1/2

When it comes to the two rumbles I expect the unexpected.

Have fun.